When John Newton backslid and needed saving all over again

Encouragement that God hasn’t finished with you yet.

This portion of Newton’s autobiography has been updated into modern English. It will form part of my book Amazing Grace: How Faith Grows in the Human Heart.

I wanted to share this with you today in case you feel like you have been drifting away from God, or even deliberately rebelling against Him. You are not alone and I’m confident that if you’ve found this article and podcast episode, He isn’t finished with you yet. The Holy Spirit directs algorithms.

Soon after my departure from Liverpool I began to pull back and grew lazy in waiting on the Lord. I became futile and trifling in my conversations. Although my heart battled with me often, my armor was gone, and I rapidly got worse. By the time we arrived in Guinea, I seemed to have forgotten all the Lord’s mercies and my own commitments, and was, apart from profanity, almost as low as before.

The enemy prepared a train of temptations. I became his easy prey. For about a month he lulled me to sleep in a course of evil, which a few months before, I would not have imagined myself capable of anymore.

How much wisdom is there in the Apostle’s advice,

“See to it brothers, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “TODAY,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:12-13, LSB).

Oh, who can be sufficiently on their guard? Sin first deceives, and then it hardens. I was now tightly bound in chains. I had little desire, and no power at all to recover myself. I did at times reflect on how it was with me. But, if I attempted to struggle with it, it was in vain.

I was just like Sampson, “When he woke up, he thought, ‘I will do as before and shake myself free.’ But he didn’t realize the Lord had left him” (Judges 16:20, NLT).

He found himself helpless, in the hands of his enemies. By remembering this account, the Lord has often instructed me since. What a poor creature I am in myself, incapable of standing a single hour without continual fresh supplies of strength and grace from the fountain head. Eventually, the Lord, whose mercies are infinite, intervened on my behalf.

The ship was at Sierra Leon, and then at the Plantanes, the scene of my former captivity. Everything I saw seemed to remind me of my ingratitude. I was in comfortable circumstances, wooed by those who previously despised me.

The lime trees I had planted were growing tall, and promised fruit the next year. By which time I expected to return with a ship of my own.

But none of these things affected me, until, as I have said, the Lord again intervened to save me. He sent me a violent fever which broke the fatal chain, and brought me to myself again. But oh what a prospect! I thought I was now being summoned away.

My past dangers and escapes, my earnest prayers in the time of trouble, my solemn vows before the Lord at his table, and my ungrateful response to all His goodness, were all presented to my mind at once.

Then I began to wish that the Lord had allowed me to sink into the ocean, when I first sought His mercy. For a little while, I concluded the door of hope to be firmly closed. But this did not continue for long. Weak and almost delirious, I got out of my bed, and snuck to a secluded part of the island. Here I found a renewed liberty to pray. I did not dare make any more resolves, but I threw myself before the Lord, to do with me as He pleased.

I do not remember that any particular text or remarkable revelation was on my mind. But in general I was enabled to hope and believe in a crucified Saviour.

The burden was removed from my conscience, and not only my peace, but also my health was restored. I cannot say instantaneously, but I recovered from that hour so quickly, that when I returned to the ship, two days later, I was perfectly well before I got on board.

From that time, I trust, I have been delivered from the power and dominion of sin. Though, as to the effects and conflicts of sin dwelling in me, I still, “groan, being burdened” (2 Corinthians 5:4, ESV).

I now began again to wait upon the Lord, although I have often grieved His Spirit, and foolishly wandered from Him since. When alas shall I be more wise? Yet his powerful grace has so far preserved me from such gloomy deteriorations as what I have just recounted. I humbly trust in his mercy and promises, that he will be my guide and guard to the end.

You can read more updated John Newton in my book which is currently available in an early access format.

https://mybook.to/amazinggrace